deep blue

oh, deep blue

i'm so scared of you

secrets held in open waves

why did you leave me on that day?

i don't know what i did to you

i don't think you know, either

did it hurt you? it hurt me

you change your names

you change your games

my fear will stay the same

deep blue,

you remind me of times best left forgotten

do i remind you of that too?

i was always trying to please you

i was always scared of you

i looked up to you

i wanted your love

i wanted your acceptance

i wanted you to like me

i watched what i said around you

i watched what i did around you

you never noticed me

we were never friends

i don't remember what happened

i wish i did

why did you leave me alone?

did you not trust me?

i don't know if i trusted you

you once told me the reason for my poor memory

i think i will always remember

i will always remember it was you who told me

how you knew more about me than i knew about you

every time i talked, i thought

"will you like this? will you hate this?"

even when i wasn't talking to you.

i'd read a book.

would deep blue like this?

i'd watch a film.

would deep blue like this?

i don't know if you would.

you still scare me.

i don't know what to tell you.

i miss you.

i never want to talk to you again.

i wish i died rather than you cutting me off.

i wih i remembered more of our time together.

i wish i could forget you.

i'm glad you don't occupy all my thoughts anymore.

i wish we never met.

i'm sorry.

12.30.2021 | by blumiere